Digging…….

It cannot be helped if words are your only refuge…….I have been lazing around since morning, trying hard to cope with the upheavals within. Just then I am reminded of the new saplings I bought from the nursery yesterday. I venture out in the balcony with my tools…..my gloves and the spade. Initially, I feel like backing out……..no…..this isn’t the right time of the day………I’m too late for the shower. I keep these voices at bay and go on……… Some planters need to be emptied…..there………I can see a plant rotting!!!!! Oh no!…….this is a whole day’s work!!!!

I try to back out yet again……….but my hands do not stop now. There is a feverish pitch……I am digging now with my hands….I need to uproot this one……the soil is contaminated with worms…….how could I not see this earlier???

Deep down its okay. I go on scooping palmful of soil………….Other planters too are taken care of…….the same way. I scoop out soil every time, even out the layers……place the new saplings carefully…….almost kissing them.

I’m overwhelmed….and I resolve to tell my ten year old once she is back from school what exactly the word “overwhelmed”  means………just yesterday I gave a curt reply and told her it means “too happy” ……….curt because she had left a mathematics problem to ask me this!!

I’m overwhelmed, at a little more ease with my voices…..they seem to have settled in the suburbs. Having swept and cleaned, I again and again admire my handiwork; the soul is so deeply enriched. Was that so easy?

All I had needed was scooping out after having dug deep, to make a new beginning even if there was rot.

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